


Objects of Allegiance

by 13th_blackbird



Category: Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Alliances missing scene, Angst, Ascendancy Eli, Chiss pilots, Force-Sensitive Thrawn, M/M, Sad makeouts, ozyly-esehembo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 10:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16911513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13th_blackbird/pseuds/13th_blackbird
Summary: During Thrawn: Alliances, everyone questions the Grand Admiral's loyalty.And after a chance encounter with an old friend and a reminder of his distant past, Thrawn questions his purpose.





	Objects of Allegiance

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [yalaki](http://yalaki.tumblr.com/) for the loan of [Hess'tasvi, their Chiss pilot OC](http://yalaki.tumblr.com/tagged/hess%27tasvi%27nuruodo).

 

The last of the pilots filed out of the room. Before the child—Hess’tasvi—left, she turned her small, solemn face to Thrawn.

“You are like us,” she said. Not a question; a statement. Utter certainty, a depth of calm and maturity unique to the  _ozyly-esehembo._

“No,” Thrawn said.

Hess’tasvi still didn’t leave. She cocked her head to the side, staring at him.

Thrawn felt her touch on his mind. It was unlike Vader’s in every respect: tentative, respectful. Above all, it was  _familiar._ A very old part of him, nearly buried, nearly forgotten, yearned toward it.

But it was too much. After weeks of constant salvos from Vader, Thrawn’s consciousness — and the wisp of a life he’d left behind long ago — was bruised.

A phantom pain, like a limb that had been lost, of course. Abilities like theirs did not last into adulthood.

And yet, it was still a pain.

He still flinched.

The pilot didn’t startle. She stood, gazing at him evenly. Chiss eyes, looking at him. Alien and familiar all at once.

Like the sensation that had awakened in Thrawn’s mind, ever since Vader had attempted to read him the first time. And had increased as Thrawn had spent nearly every waking moment walling out Vader’s continued attempts to twist him, bend him to his will.  

“You _were_  like us,” Hess’tasvi declared, small voice clear. “Then you weren’t. Now you are again.” She bit her bottom lip. “That’s strange, isn’t it?”  

“That is impossible,  _veson'bi”_ Thrawn said, using the honorific reserved for the pilots.  _Steerswoman_  would be the term in Basic. “Chief Vash’an’tana will be looking for you. They will fear you lost again.”

“The others know where I am.” She shrugged, looking more childlike now. “You remember.”

He did. Pilots were less like individuals and more like a single entity, minds linked, thoughts ebbing and flowing between them. The pilot grinned as Thrawn nodded in understanding.

“ _Crahsystor_  Vanto doesn’t know where  _you_  are, though. Isn’t he your friend? Don’t you want to see him?” She paused again. “You do. And you don’t.”

Eli.

Thrawn had not thought Eli would be on Ar’alani’s ship, still.

“This is not a good use of your gifts, little one,” Thrawn said, gently.

“Oh,” Has’tasvi said, ignoring him, looking off into the distance. “He found you though.”

“Tasvi, why aren’t you with the others — ?” Eli’s voice, speaking Cheunh. It had only been a few months since Thrawn had sent Eli on to the Ascendancy, yet his accent had improved markedly.  

Hess’tasvi ran to him, giggling. “I found him for you,  _Crahsystor_.”

Eli sighed, ran a hand through his hair — purely a reflex, Thrawn thought. It had been cut short in the style favored by CEDF officers. “Go on, Tasvi. Catch up, they’re—“

“ _I_ know,” she said, and skipped out of the room.

Eli watched her go, shaking his head. Then he turned his gaze to Thrawn, smiling crookedly. “Tasvi’s our pilot,” he said. Still in Cheunh. “I’m the only one who’ll play games with her on her off-time, and I think she gets lonely—“

Of course Eli would befriend his pilot. So few did, though of course crewers held them in esteem. They weren’t thought of as children, weren’t entertained and coddled the way their age mates would be.

There was a pause. Eli twined his hands together, a nervous gesture.

That phantom pain twinged again, and Thrawn closed his eyes. Just for a moment.

Of course Eli saw it. “Are you all right?” he said. His impulse was to reach out — Thrawn saw the beginning of the motion, quickly quashed. Chiss didn’t touch the way humans did, casually.

Eli was already learning. Thrawn had made the right choice to send him.

When Thrawn didn’t respond, Eli sighed again, straightened his tunic. Gripped the hem to keep his hands still.

The night they had parted, Thrawn had intended to send Eli away with full knowledge of his full mission in the Empire. He had wanted Eli to know his true value to Thrawn over the years: translator, confidant, guide, protege.

The conversation had been brief. Eli had already guessed. And what had come afterward had surprised even Thrawn.

“I heard you were here,” Eli said, quietly. “I heard you were with Vader.”

The unspoken question in his voice was one that Thrawn had been asked constantly over the past few weeks:  _Who holds your loyalty?_

It had been asked constantly since he’d come to the Empire. Would be asked, again and again, until he could prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. And he did not think he could provide such proof to the Empire.

“Yes,” Thrawn said. “The Emperor’s instructions.”

“The pilots,” Eli prompted. “Won’t he…isn’t this—?”

“He will not,” Thrawn said. “Although he believes in sending me, he tests me. Yet even Lord Vader has secrets.”

Eli laughed, but it was bitter. “You’re blackmailing  _Vader_?”

Thrawn nodded, suddenly exhausted. He hadn’t called it by that name, even to himself, but there was no question that he and Vader had agreed to put the question of  _loyalty_  to the side — along with the matter of Anakin Skywalker. Thrawn would be leaving in mere moments, going back to that dark mind, its scrutiny, walking a knife’s edge for an Empire he considered nothing more than a useful tool.

The kiss, then, was hurried.

Eli made a sharp sound of surprise into Thrawn’s mouth, then gripped the back of his head and kissed back, hard. There was anger behind it — Thrawn had known there would be aspects of life in the Ascendancy that Eli would find objectionable, the  _ozyly-esehembo_ chief among them.

They had no time to discuss life in the Ascendancy, though. Thrawn had no inclination to do so, either.

They only had these few moments of Eli’s hands in Thrawn’s hair, Thrawn’s hands slipping underneath Eli’s tunic and running over his warm brown skin—

They broke apart, Eli gasping a little, his eyes flashing. “Thrawn…” he said, warningly.

But whatever he would have said was lost. Ar’alani was at the door, and they were both saluting. “Mitth’raw’nuruodo, your ship is hailing. You should not have come aboard,” she said.

“I could not entrust the pilots’ safety to anyone else,” Thrawn said.

“Eli’Vanto, to the bridge,” she said. Her face was set, and if Thrawn had been under her command, he would certainly have been in for a formal reprimand. “Mitth’raw’nuruodo, quickly - are you compromised? Do you require extraction?”

Eli paused at the door.

“No,” Thrawn said. “I am not. The mission continues.”

“Very good,” Ar’alani said. “Eli’Vanto, to the  _bridge_ ,I said.”

“Yes, sir,” Eli said, in Cheunh. And then in Basic, with a grim expression: “It was good to see you, Thrawn. Be safe.”

And he was gone.

 

 


End file.
